Your ham is lame.

This is pretty much how I've felt since leaving Decorah and Dorian behind for the summer: blah and cloudy. I have reasons, of course, some more recent (and post-Dorian) than others: leaving old friends behind, leaving new friends behind, lots of tequila, strange smell emanating from my closet, dog waking me up at 4 a.m. today. But let's talk about some really good moments from Dorian 2006.

Dorian
• Me: Your ham looks lame.
  EADOS*: It tastes about as lame as it looks.
• TACC: I nead ears.
  Me: These are ears.
  TACC: I mean scissors.
• Camper: I don't actually love you. I just said that.
• Counselor: Our floor activity consisted of a bird funeral.
• Camper: I lost my trombone**, so, like, do you have it?

Mixolydian
• CDHOM: What's so funny?
  Me, very drunk but not wanting to appear so: Everything!
• tequila
• creamation stories

* Names changed a little. EADOS: Exceptionally Amazing Dean of Students. TACC: The Amazing Co-Counselor. CDHOM: Camp Director, Host of Mixolydian.
** Or any other item or instrument that could possibly be lost.

I meant to say more about Dorian (and to post sooner). But I didn't.

I did manage to work on a couple of socks, though. I've got most of a 2x2, except a toe, and about 4 inches of Jaywalker.

Dorian quickie

Last night we performed Seasons of Love, and a number from High School Musical for the Variety Show. We wore white polyester jumpsuits for that one. Yes, I was wearing a white polyester jumpsuit. I also did not dance the number, but instead helped play a triangle. I say "helped" because I held it and another girl did the actual, um, tringling.

I also wrote a wedding, as Timmy (Timbelina) got married to a fellow counselor (female!) ... It began, "Mawwage. Mawwage is wot bwings us togebbah today ..." and ended, "By da powah wested in me fwoo da Uniwesaw Wife Chuch, I now pwonounce you man and wife. You may kiss da bwide." I wore a pope hat, which I made out of newspaper during my art classes and painted blue. It matched my officiant's robe (aka Nordic robe) very well.

The children think we're crazy. That's all for now.

Decorah, here I come

You Are A: Duckling!

The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.

You were almost a: Lamb or a Pony
You are least like a: Groundhog or a KittenWhat Cute Animal Are You?

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I was all set to post, and Blogger broke.

Thank you, everyone who wished me a happy 6-6-06. It was fun, despite working all day.

My birthday horoscope from the Des Moines Register:

Gemini (May 21-June 21) — You may be uncertain as to how others perceive you, but the planets assure that you're coming across well. As sung by your signmate Prince, you don't have to be "cool" to rule someone's world.

... which is why I love Prince.

I was going to head up to Luther after work today for Dorian, but I didn't get enough stuff done for it to be a timely arrival. I'll head up tomorrow morning. I don't know that I'll be able to post often, if at all, over the next couple of weeks. I'm sure y'all can manage without me.

Besides, tonight there's another episode of Dustro's and my show — it's in the second season already! (Bitch, bitch, bitch!) Replacing Lauren Sanchez as host is a rather sassy Brit, Cat. The judges are back — Mary, Mia, Nigel, Dan — and Dan even cut his puffed-out hair. I'm so excited.

I'm taking along three different sock patterns — Jaywalker, 2x2, Pedicure — in hope of having some sock-knitting time. I doubt it to be likely, but just in case.

Peace out, y'all.

I am the Anti-Xa

As has become tradition over the past 23 years, I will get a touch older today. (I am, after all, the Anti-Xa.) Others, however, do not seem to think today is an auspicious date to mark the passage of time ...

'Happy Birthday Damien': Births Rescheduled for Superstitious Reason 6/6/06

• Jacksonville, FL - "One of my patients had a C-section scheduled for June 6th and recently decided to change it because of the date." said a local doctor of recent wave of rescheduling for babies to be been born surgically on June 6, 2006 or 6/6/06.
• Traditionally, the number 666 is thought to be the 'Mark of the Beast' and is associated with the coming of the Antichrist. The numbers are written about in the Bible's Book of Revelations [sic].
• Rather than have their babies delivered on such an ominous day, expectant mothers wish to have their otherwise healthy babies born at some other convenient non-Satanic related date.

Are women trying to avoid 6/06/2006?

Woman fears her baby will be the Anti-Christ "She has asked her doctors to induce her for fear of giving birth to The Devil. This has to be the best reason for an induction yet."

6/6/06 worries first coast moms "Evil has helped push the bank accounts of many in Tinsel Town to new riches with movies like 'The Omen.' But in the land of those experiencing labor, wealth is all about health. First Coast moms want healthy babies born on any other day except 6/6/06."

Loobylu "That being said, BB's chosen image made me feel a little odd to say the least. Secondly, whilst I wouldn't be into inducing my baby or organising a caesarian to avoid the date, and I haven't been seriously worried about giving birth to the anti-christ... "

Woman fears giving birth to anti-Christ "Caversham - A pregnant woman who is due to give birth on June 6 wants to be induced as she is terrified of giving birth to the devil."

But Michigan has the right idea: Hell hots up for 666 party "Souvenir shop owner John Colone, who is also the mayor, said: 'I've got '666' T-shirts and mugs. I'm only ordering 666 so, once they're gone, that's it.'"

Not only do I wish I could road trip to Michigan, I almost wish I'd named my cat Damien. Now if only it were a full moon ...

Insert happy dance here

I received for my Ancient Cultures Swap yesterday! If you'd like to see what I got, you'll have to look here and here for now.

Also, when I was at Curves yesterday, I saw my name on the wall for the inches I lost. Lo and behold, the number was a touch higher than she'd told me on Wednesday — I lost 13 inches, baby! Not 8 but 13!

And the dog is acting less sick, which is very encouraging.

I love weekends.

I'm out shopping for camp, and perhaps doing a little birthday celebrating with the fam.

Thank Gourd It's Friday!

Oh, has today been a pain in the butt. I don't want to deal with a sick dog — who ripped up some of the kitchen linoleum, I might add — all weekend. I really hope that the linoleum is the reason he doesn't feel well, and not Return of the Evil Parvo.

Demitrios has distemper part two shot this afternoon.

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After seeing that Crazy Aunt Purl had her June Hor-O-Scopes posted, I had to check mine.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
This month you are naked as a jaybird. Also, that is a metaphor. Unless you live in the Valley like moi and need to be buck nekkid to survive the infernal heat, hi! Almost a hundred degrees today! Your naked Gemini-truth is spread out for the world to see right now. You just survived a spring of pure indecision and uncertainty, and this summer -- June in particular -- is the time to declare yourself once and for all. That’s not to say you can’t change your mind next month, of course. What is a Gemini without constant change? But flux and indecision are two very different things -- you’ve finally reached some conclusions, and it’s time to become the person you hope to be someday. Your nagging doubt (“Am I doing the right thing?”) will never go away, it’s a fact of life. Take it from me, Cautionary Tale Girl. But I trust that you’ve reached this point through some serious soul-searching, and you -- of all people -- should know you’re right. And when you do decide to change your mind, you’ll do it emphatically. But that won’t happen until September, so forget I mentioned it.

So, out with the indecision, eh? Ok.

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If you haven't read Overheard in New York before, you might enjoy these tidbits. The headlines are dumb, but the content's worth a laugh or two.

Lion Alert Level: Yellow
Little girl, loudly: ROAR!
Little girl's dad: Leslie, stop it, you're scaring the people.
Little girl, quietly: Roar...
Little girl's dad: Very nice Les, scare them subtly.

She's a vegan — pass the cheesecake
Girl #1: So I was thinking about milk the other day. Milk comes from cows. And what do cows eat?
Girl #2: Other cows?
Girl #1: No, dumbass! They eat grass! So it stands to reason, when you drink milk, you're actually drinking liquified grass.
Girl #2: Ugh, gross! I'm so not drinking milk anymore.
Girl #1: Totally, that's why I drink soy.

Swap photos, and inches!

Okay, I remembered my camera today. Before I forget, further pictures can be found here.

The box: the paint on it made me think that it was something Cleopatra might see if she glanced down while floating down the Nile. Inside the box: A bottlecap pincushion and stitch markers. The pincusion was inspired by verybigjen's tutorial. It's got hieroglyphs embroidered around the edges (the embroidery, unfortunately, is very novice and has no other pictures). The stitch markers were made with the help of Poor Miss Finch's explanation. I called them "Jewel of the Nile" stitch markers, as the jewel gleams nicely in the right lighting. They're made from two different sizes: one to fit anything smaller than US 10.5, and the other to fit needles smaller than US 7. A skein of Paton's Classic Merino, because she likes blue. The journal: Book of the Dead (a crafty journal). It's an altered journal (the original of which I found at Dollar General) with a silhouette of Anubis, Egyptian god of the dead / embalming.

So there ya go, Fyberduck.

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In other (non-crafty) news, I went to Curves yesterday. (I know, I know: exercise, blah, blah, blah.) But! It was a measurement day. And (drumroll, please) ... I lost 8 inches! I think it might actually be closer to 9. And 2 pounds. I was so pumped that I worked out a bit harder and sweat a lot more. When I got home, I had to tell someone. I tried calling Beth, but she didn't answer (again, but she's busy).

I decided that I hadn't talked to Aramad in a while — since graduation — and so I called her. She was helping J-man move out of the dorm and into her place. They're currently looking for a condo to share, perhaps in the Twin Cities area, and J's parents are going to help with the fundage. Once they find a place, I think they might throw an open house party. (She said she was kind of jealous that Beth and Sarah bought a house before she and J did, so she's hoping to throw a party, too.) They're also getting hitched sometime in October, so that's cool. Now if only they didn't live so far away ... but that's what road trips are for!