Friday, January 30


Ah, break. It's been so blissfully quiet and relaxing. And in case you were wondering, the contents of Dustro's fridge are as follows: Rolling Rock, dipping cheese [nacho, naturally], Dr Thunder, and strawberry daquiri. The biddy and I have been knitting/crocheting up a storm. She's working on a lovely creme-coloured scarf and I made a crazy hat. The hat is a bit lacking, because I don't know how to make hats, really. Played it [knitted, rather] by ear. Turned out ok, but odd.

Oh, and our dear AE returned from Europe today. It was very exciting to see her again - she had been lacking hugs for an entire month and thus promptly collected two from Dustro and I when she got out of the shower. Fantastic. And she met my biddy and was, I think, thoroughly amused.

That's all I really have. I have to call my mother soon. Maybe I'll talk about that.

Tuesday, January 27

Herr Hellblau

Herr Hellblau [Mr Light Blue] is our Deutsch professor. He mentions Marlene Dietrich whenever possible - he's obsessed. He is sehr feminin, but only in English. The only sign of his blue-tinted reality when he speaks Deutsch is a slight lisp. He is also angry about the loss of the most wonderful letter in the Deutsch language: ß. The double s. When spelled the new way, ich weiss nicht [I don't know] looks absolutely horrid. When spelled the proper ß-lovin' way, ich weiß nicht looks beautiful and calm - not a bit like its ugly counterpart. I know I prefer ß ... don't you? Subvert the dominant paradigm! Don't let them change the spelling! Viva ß!

[Note:: Herr Hellblau is not the prof's real name. It is a play on some Russian slang translated to Deutsch because I can't spell or pronounce Russian. Yet. If you really want to know, ask my biddy. She'll explain the Russian.]

I have also written some code for Dame T's new blog. I haven't given it to him yet, but it's ready. I've coded three blogs in the past few days, and I am proud of the way they turned out. I'm so glad I taught myself HTML and CSS and whatnot. It's so worth it to learn.

Bisexual Monday and other treats

Yesterday, as you have reminded us, was Bisexual Monday. I, for a day, liked the cock, and you, for a day, liked the pussy. Yes, I know you hate that word. Precisely why I used it, dolphin.

Right. Lots has happened of late. I promise. I just haven't written about it because I've been off crafting with my new crafting biddy [for whom I designed some well-recieved blog-revampage]. Through the course of Deutschkurs, my biddy and I have become fast friends, and she has brought a welcome change to my dull life and brought me out of the doldrums. Biddy high five!

Yesterday we were stricken a pair of scarves in Dame T.'s room whilst viewing [and dancing to] RHPS. Lovely time, that. We returned there later to shoot the shit into the wee hours of the morning, and talked of many things. [Not shoes, nor ships, nor sealing wax, not cabbages nor kings.] We talked of the "gay agenda" [about which we decided we must've missed the meeting, as we've never really seen a copy of said agenda], and of our "root" [stemmed by watching But I'm a Cheerleader on the night previous]. More on my root later.

Also, as of yesterday, there is a fair amount of schnee on the ground. The new gays immediately wanted to go traying, whilst the old gays stayed home inside where it was warm. I thought it was snowing again earlier, actually, when I looked out my window, but it must've been snow blowing off the roof of the building and into the lovely Health Circus Courtyard.

And B and D and I have made the last trip ever to W-M, as the new Super W-M is opening tomorrow at 7.30a. I think we may have to raid it after our final Prüfung for the term.

Monday, January 26

It starts.

So, being tired of how my former blog did not like to load properly, I am beginning again. Short amount of time, I know. I will [hopefully] be posting the old posts from CM in the near future.

Later, 10.49p.
The template is now properly crimson coloured, and I've begun moving entries from the old CM to the new. Comments will also migrate when I have a chance. Of course, they'll all appear on this IP address, but that's fine with me.

We'll chat again soon.

Wednesday, January 21


Wo ist meine Hose? [Where are my pants?]
Ich habe keine Hose! [I have no pants!]

Sorry. Surge of immaturity in making up amusing Q/A combinations in Deutsch today. We have another test tomorrow, though. That's the sad thing about cramming a semester's worth of language into a month - frequent tests. We have only one chapter left. It's sort of sad that January is mostly over. All in all it has breezed by [even gusted at times]. It's been a moderate sort of month. Not too many scary ups and downs on my part.

And yummy, do I want me some seared shark for dinner. [No, I'm not joking. That's what on the menu for din-din. I almost died when I read that.]

Friday, January 16

Beautiful, despite the weather

It's mid-January in the Midwest. True, it's getting colder, but I'm still enjoying life. Today was relaxing, which was quite surprising. I was up late last night chatting with some friends in the hallway. A diversion that I didn't expect to last for more than an hour lasted for at least three. I finally made it back to my room around 3.45 [Viertel vor vier, auf Deutsch] and crashed until about 10.00. I took a leisurely shower and made my way to lunch, thinking about my German test and inserting German words at random intervals throughout the meal. We took our test, which was pretty much as easy as the first one, and then had a break until 2.05, at which point I hurried back home to say goodbye to a friend who's spending the weekend with her girlfriend and her family. Upon returning to class, we had Konversation in small group, and I had a lot of fun - our group was full of laughs. I had to pantomime a movie for "George Bush" to watch, so I made up a random scene with lots of tears and anger. Wonderful. And after that I spent some time playing with a friend's cat, Bella. How sweet it is to get clawed up by a furry animal on a chilly Friday.

Just got Dar Williams' Iowa stuck in my head, and I'm happy.

Wednesday, January 14

SPAM and other diversions

I'd first like to mention that Neil has replied to a couple of questions that I sent in [one thanks to someone else who wrote in]. One question is in the post called More questions answered, and Harry Stephen Keeler mentioned; the other is in the post called Small potatoes. Thanks, Neil.

And now on to the SPAM.

I have a confession to make - I have stolen someone's SPAM. [My white board even states, "Here resides a stolen SPAM."] It was really for his own good - I don't think that anyone should have to consume it, much less want to do so. I know that it's not a very good ethical trait to steal, but I was doing him [and his roommate] a favour. His roommate couldn't stand the fact that he would slice it up and put it on a baking sheet, pop down to the kitchen to use the oven, and come back with a batch of rank-smelling can-formed meat.

Two nights ago he came back to attempt to retrieve his precious SPAM. I, having his own interests at heart, refused to return it. I felt a bit mean-spirited, as he told me that he was hungry, butI don't care if SPAM is popular in Guam - we are not in Guam. I don't care if it's actually Turkey Spam. I didn't mean to leave him hungry, I offered many different treats in return, like popcorn, chicken noodle soup, and Crispix. I thought that he was going to give in when I offered Crispix, but he decided that he wanted meat. I had no meat to offer.

I suggested that he return to the local Wal-Mart and buy something to eat, and he stated that he would just buy more SPAM and that my attempt to keep him from it would have been futile. This being the case, I still refused to give in. If there was one thing I was going to do it was going to be to prevent him from eating this particular can of Spam.

So far I have been able to do so. I have hidden the SPAM in a very clever place that he wouldn't think of. I am a devious one.

[It might interest you to know that the SPAM Museum is not too far away from me, in Austin, MN.]

Monday, January 12

das Haar

Trichopathophobia. I'm not the only one who shows signs of it. I'm mostly sure I picked it up from one of my friends who loathes, hates, and abominates stray hairs. The day I got hardcore hair phobic was the day I found a small-ish dark hair in my cottage cheese. I haven't eaten it since - I refuse because it was so absolutely revolting that I think I would gag profusely.

Another evidence of hair phobia: finding my [ex]roommates' hairs everywhere [even on my bed, which I refuse to think about for long periods of time]. Especially the long, coarse, crinkly hair. It resembles pubic hair a little too closely.

Speaking of pubic hair, there's something I don't understand. Shaving "down there" is fine - I do it because hair just tends to get in the way. [Especially when menstruating - what a mess.] But as the hair is down in the nether regions, I simply can't understand how pubic hairs can migrate up the wall of the shower to hit eye level. Perhaps they have some sort of Anti-Gravity Shower Wall Magnetism that allows them to defy most of the laws of nature. I know that when I shave anything I make sure the hairs go down the drain and help clog our already scary plumbing system.

But perhaps I'm misunderstanding something. Maybe someone's trying to be creative and leave pubic hairs where you wouldn't think they'd naturally settle. Maybe it's some new art movement and, given a couple of years, will be the next form of high art, and I will miss out on the millions made off the sale of old shower walls decorated in deeply contemplated and masterfully placed pubic hair.

I sincerely hope that is not the case.

Sunday, January 11

A misty moisty morning

It really wasn't very misty this morning, but it was a little moisty. [I just noticed that I no longer know how to alphabetise words, as I put the O blogs before the N blogs. You notice this kind of thing when you only have a few.]

The weekend is almost over. It was good for all the right mediocre reasons. We went bowling [where I did not actually bowl but instead play very bad games of pool and air hockey] and we had a cheap, greasy dinner. Definitely better than the night before - the margaritas and the scent of bile were both quite strong on Friday.

In general, I am a happier person than I was a month ago, though I still pine for Ms Mittens occasionally. But really, what can you do?

Wednesday, January 7

Return of the Creativity

Another day, mediocre but still good. Nothing really stands out. Last night I painted small rectangles [2-3'' sides] out of pure entertainment. I must say, I haven't spontaneously painted since last spring, so I found it quite refreshing. Perhaps I shall use another medium tonight as my creativity returns.

This one's for you, darlin. "America would never trust someone who wrote real poems in a position of power. America understands how dangerous poets are, and would not allow one in the White House in any position of responsibility," said Neil.

Tuesday, January 6

Strategic maneuvers

I've resolved to not make any resolutions for the new year. The reason? I make and break resolutions every day, so why should a new year be any different? Still, I have things in mind ... eating better, stressing less, actually studying ... the standard resolutions apply to me even though I'm not formalising any. The year has begun well, at any rate.

I am alreading finding more me-time, which is a definite plus. I need time to zen out, and now I've got the space to do it. I'm going to go relax and muse over things.