Altercations, teeth

So I was typing the sheriff's report ...

Pause. I know most terrible stories start out this way, but deal with it. Continue.

And I see the offense "Injury from altercation". I thought, Oh, that sounds normal. An altercation sounds a little like surgery. But then I wasn't sure. So I called upon my trusty friend dictionary.com and typed "altercation" into the search box. Moments later, it came up with this:

al·ter·ca·tion n. A vehement quarrel. [syn: affray, fracas]

Nonplussed, I couldn't imagine why someone was injured. Well, I supPOSE someone could get a little violently inclined. But really -- calling the sheriff?

Also, I read an article from the New York Times -- Rape charge follows marriage to a 14-year-old -- and I don't understand it. But I will not criticize love, even in the peculiar guise it takes this time around. [I mean, really. To put this in perspective, it would be like me marrying my youngest brother, a ninth grader. Except without the incest.]

But enough of that. I'm going to talk to Jacquieness for a little while and discuss wisdom teeth, because that's what you talk about when you haven't seen someone for three months.

Blah blah

Same old kind of day. I made a few interesting discoveries while typing the police report, though. Like the fact that some people actually call the police when there's a bat in their house. (This happened three times in the last couple of weeks.) And the fact that someone I know got arrested –– not that I'm terribly surprised, but it was the person that I dissected the fetal pig with back in when I was a sophomore in high school.

I've been screwing around online, ordering more DVDs that I don't particularly need. (Circle and Dress to Kill are almost in the "need" category, right?)

I'm hungry, and it's well past time to find food, so I'll go home for a while and hang out with the dog.

I'll be back later, no doubt.

Friends, ye olde navy

It's good to know that some friends "wouldn't trade you for a fitness center".

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Dear Old Navy,

Thank you for providing affordable clothes that fit my, erm, generously proportioned figure. (Here.) However, as I was at your establishment twice Saturday and spent over $100 on (very fashionable) clothing, I would appreciate it if you would stop showing commercials that subliminally convince me to go buy more clothes. Or something. Make some ugly clothes that I would have no desire to wear. Do SOMETHING before this girl goes out of control.

Much love,
Crimson

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I'm going to keep listening to Hurricane Katrina stuff on CNN while reading the book that I stole from Dustro. (That means I'll fall asleep, obviously.)

Knitting, quiche

I'm making one of these in cheap red acrylic. Dustro thinks it looks like an Egyptian headdress ("you know, the mummy thing"). I've made two of these -- one very very small one, and one with leftover yarn from a baby hat. Yes, I'm knitting more baby stuff. There are a couple of reasons, and neither of them have to do with estrogen. First, I have friends and relatives that are having babies, or have had them recently. Second, I love instant gratification. And really, what could be more instant than knitting things for very small people? Well, except for a little java sleeve, but who knows if I made it the right size? I'll just have to send it to someone who drinks a lot of hot things and have her test drive it.

Pictures soon-ish. I promise. (Including some of the hat gone lampshade, under the slight influence of some Gin Buckets.)

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So last night, Dustro and I took another step towards sous-chef-dom. We made a quiche. Actually, we ended up making two, because there was so much filling. It ended up tasting marvelous. Mel even came over for some dinner after her class. We've still got most of the second one left. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be consumed rather quickly.

Driving Miss Crazy

Long post ahead, just to warn you. I divided it into segments.

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I'd like to let you in on a little secret. Driving is not my forte. Dustro knows this. He frequently uses the "driver's ed passenger brake" at me when he doesn't think I'll stop in time. But I had to drive from the apartment in O-town to my house in Winterset. Sure, it should've been a piece of cake. I did it last weekend, and the week before. But throw in a lot of rain, dark clouds, and more lightning than you'd care to shake a stick at ... and, well, I got confused. More than once.

Here's what happened: In Omaha, I-80 is kind of merged with I-29 for a little while. I wanted to get on 29 South so I could catch Hwy 92 for a straight shot home. Through all the rain, I somehow thought that I should take the 29 North exit (first mistake). I realized my mistake right away, of course, and there aren't any very good ways to turn around. (I drove past the casino where the Indigo Girls are playing on 16 Sept, so at least I know where that is ... Did I mention that we already have tickets? $20, baby!) Anyway, I got turned back around and got on 80 East again. This time I managed to take the 29 South exit. But for some reason, I was spacing off, distracted to the storm that I thought was off to the north. I was so wrong.

I went instead for Hwy 34 -– a good 20 miles south of where I wanted to be, but I thought that staying south of the storm was a good idea. I intended to grab Hwy 59 North to get back to where I wanted to be, but the storm didn't stay where I thought it was going to. I decided that it must be very large, so I called Dustro in a mild panic after I went through Red Oak and told him to look at weather.com. He told me that the storm wasn't that big, and that it wasn't even raining on Hwy 71, which was my next chance to go north. I didn't really believe him at first, because, having driven through a lot of heavy rain just moments before, I couldn't understand that the storm wasn't gigantic. (I should have taken the hint in Red Oak when I stopped for a little gas; it wasn't raining at all there.

So I kept on keepin' on, got to Hwy 71 without any further mishaps, and sped home when I got back to Hwy 92. And I still managed to get home in a little over two hours.

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To change things up a bit, here's a little meme, thanks to Biddy Love, via this post. Questions posed are in italics, and her answers follow.

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
Remember those times we went to WalMart with Allen and took all those photos? That's one of my favorite memories of all time.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
Anything Eddie Izzard, cos you love him so much!
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
One of those weird flavors that's really exotic but then is paired with a very common fruit like Mango-Guava-StarFruit-PassionFruit-Grape. It just seems right.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (maybe/maybe not).
Remember the choir tour package and book? Those were fabulous! I still have the book!
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
We met in Deutschkurs with the fabulous Herr Schmidt. The first thing I remember about you is that cute laugh you have and how every time Herr Schmidt said "Springen Sie!" you giggled.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
This is such a weird question... but even though it's not an animal per se, a ladybug. I distinctly remember you painting a lady bug for someone. I think.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
What got you so interested in learning about dead languages?
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. And so I did.

So to return the kindness ...

1. So this one time, at the drag ball ... you dressed like a girl! And then you were one of the infamous girls-turned-boyband. And then you were a girl again. (Maybe this explains your body trying to make you a man ...)
2. Anything Simon & Garfunkel, anything from the Biddy Mix, and French rap, thanks to all of those fabulous mix CDs you burned for me.
3. That horrible seven-layer jello that old ladies bring to church potlucks. It looks pretty, but would be much better used in a wrestling match than consumed by any living thing.
4. Viva ß!
5. Despite the many "Springen Sie!" episodes of dear old Deutschkurs, my first real recollection (I think -- time gets a little out of order sometimes) is the time we got all crafty and started painting and collaging on all those little paper boxes. There were a couple of tributes to W.C.W. in there. Good times. And of course, there's all that knitting.
6. A manatee, specifically for the time Barbara Manatee went missing for days and days and you were a little distraught.
7. ASL and French and Russian and German (English goes without saying, I suppose) -- you could be a one-woman, um, translator thingy. But the real question is, when did you start knitting? And why didn't you and I ever watch Hedwig together?

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In other news, the paper has now adopted a cat, thanks to my dad telling some guy that we'd take care of the stray cat he found. We batted around names all day yesterday, and I think we finally decided to call him Quark, after the layout program we use.

Also, someone remind me to order one of these when I have a spare moment.

Snaps

I've hijacked Dustro's computer while he's at the pool, so I decided to update y'all on ... well, whatever.

Warning: I've been turning into a Jet. Or maybe a Shark. No, I haven't watched West Side Story recently, nor have I been rehearsing for a production of it, but every once in a while I snap. As in rhythmically. Roommate Dustro, at least, knows what I'm talking about. Don't worry. I'll get it out of my system soon.

I finished Mirror Mirror the other day. I enjoyed it more than Lost for sure, but I'm not entirely certain how I feel about the book. It left me wanting more. I can't really explain it. I liked it well enough, though, and I now understand your fascination with the Borgias a little better, Brenna.

I found my most recent addition to the book list, Going Nucular at a fun little book shop called The Bookworm, which is in the same shopping center as String of Purls (a very cute yarn shop). I've read a couple of the essays, and I must say, it's entertaining. It's rather like the last segment in my linguistics class this past spring, when we discussed society and language and the changes it goes through.

I've knit a total of five baby booties now. Pictures soon, most likely when I go back to work tomorrow. I also made a rather funky hat, which I'll also post. I'll be keeping this version though, as I made a rather odd mistake along one edge, leaving it to look as though something has gnawed on it.

Also, in my BBC email, I discovered this: Plain Speaking, which is certainly worth a read and a listen.

Well, I'm going to go find a sandwich.