Patterns

More and more often now, I've been noticing the patterns in everyday life: the waxing and waning of the moon, the weave of a blanket, the veins on a leaf. I wonder what life would be like without recognisable patterns. I sometimes get stuck in a rut and obsess that patterns will take over my life, but I really do appreciate them from time to time. When you're all strung out, you can remember to just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming until things get a little less manic.

I love that when I get into the shower and turn on the water, it's always cold and makes me shiver in the corner until it warms up. I would miss that. I love that when I look at a blank white surface or the sky I can see floaters, because if they are there, then I know everything will somehow be okay and that I will still be me. I would miss that, even though it means something's a little wrong with my retina. I love that my fish always go nuts when I feed them, like it's some priviledge to get food. I would miss that.

Just because they happen over and over. I would miss them.