das Haar

Trichopathophobia. I'm not the only one who shows signs of it. I'm mostly sure I picked it up from one of my friends who loathes, hates, and abominates stray hairs. The day I got hardcore hair phobic was the day I found a small-ish dark hair in my cottage cheese. I haven't eaten it since - I refuse because it was so absolutely revolting that I think I would gag profusely.

Another evidence of hair phobia: finding my [ex]roommates' hairs everywhere [even on my bed, which I refuse to think about for long periods of time]. Especially the long, coarse, crinkly hair. It resembles pubic hair a little too closely.

Speaking of pubic hair, there's something I don't understand. Shaving "down there" is fine - I do it because hair just tends to get in the way. [Especially when menstruating - what a mess.] But as the hair is down in the nether regions, I simply can't understand how pubic hairs can migrate up the wall of the shower to hit eye level. Perhaps they have some sort of Anti-Gravity Shower Wall Magnetism that allows them to defy most of the laws of nature. I know that when I shave anything I make sure the hairs go down the drain and help clog our already scary plumbing system.

But perhaps I'm misunderstanding something. Maybe someone's trying to be creative and leave pubic hairs where you wouldn't think they'd naturally settle. Maybe it's some new art movement and, given a couple of years, will be the next form of high art, and I will miss out on the millions made off the sale of old shower walls decorated in deeply contemplated and masterfully placed pubic hair.

I sincerely hope that is not the case.